The Bedtime Negotiations That Come With Transitions

A reflective letter on toddler transitions, bedtime resistance, big-kid changes, and motherhood patience.

There was a season when bedtime looked different in our house — and it made sense.

A big transition had shifted our normal routine. After a move to a big-kid bed — no crib, no guardrails, full freedom — the familiar rhythm of bedtime suddenly felt different. Add in potty training, and every night started stretching a little longer than before.

The steps were all the same:shower, brush teeth, books, lights off, sound on, prayer, song.

But every step took longer.

And once bedtime finally came, it never really stayed there.

There were requests for water.

Then cuddles.

A different blanket.

A different shirt.

One more trip to the bathroom.

One more question.

One more reason to come back out.

At the time, I was exhausted.

I hadn’t had a chance to fully decompress from the day, and in those moments, all I could think was: this is really hard.

But after bedtime finally settled down, something clicked.

My child wasn’t trying to frustrate me.

They were trying to adjust.

What felt like stalling was really a search for comfort in the middle of a big transition.

And honestly?

So was I.

That season reminded me that transitions are uncomfortable. They come with resistance, confusion, and patience-testing nights.

But they’re also where growth happens.

For our children.

And for us too.

So if you’re in a season that feels harder than expected right now, try to have grace with yourself.

Don’t blame yourself.

Don’t blame your child.

You’re both learning how to move through something new, together.

— The Blackologist

P.S. This week, in your keepsake journal, write about a transition your family is moving through right now — and the small moment that reminded you your presence still brings comfort in the middle of change.